My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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