Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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