if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize