so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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