We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
