living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
