where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
