In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
