I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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