i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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