no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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