I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
