im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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