I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
