i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
