He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
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