its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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