The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
there is puke in my bra ... again
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