I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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