last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize