id be glad to
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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