You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
