dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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