my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
They have beer where we have blood.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
