these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize