He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
