Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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