"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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