Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
