We're facebook friends in real life
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
