how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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