Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
