im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
