Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
