But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
