Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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