She is in my trunk
People in love make me want to vomit
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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