I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I cockslap morals
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So much Jack, so little girl.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize