I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
