Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
