i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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