i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
