Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
