I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
