i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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