He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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