you would pick up someone in the library
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
