all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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