There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
