There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
