By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
