Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
