When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
