I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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