my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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