u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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