I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Two words: blizzard sex
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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