So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
