it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
