I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
