Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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