wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
