I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
