it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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