I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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