So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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