I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I think I won the penis lottery.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
