Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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