I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
