so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
my shit smells like andre
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
